A Generation Without a Compass — Who Will Show Them the Way?
82 Years — 82 Lessons
I've lived 82 years on this earth, and I've watched America change in ways I never could have imagined when I was a boy.
I've seen wars, political upheavals, technological miracles, and changes in the American family that would have been difficult to imagine seventy years ago.
Some of those changes have been wonderful. Others trouble me deeply.
But after eight decades of watching this country, I've come to believe that one of the greatest threats to America's future isn't coming from Washington, Moscow, or Beijing.
It's coming from the breakdown of responsibility in our own homes.
And I believe fatherless children are among those paying the highest price.
Where Have All the Fathers Gone?
Look at some of America's struggling neighborhoods, from New York to Los Angeles, Houston, and cities across the country.
There are children growing up without an involved father. Some fathers have disappeared because of drugs, alcohol, incarceration, or simply an unwillingness to accept responsibility.
Others are physically present but emotionally absent.
Meanwhile, mothers and grandparents struggle to fill the gap.
Let me make something clear. I know wonderful single mothers, dedicated fathers, and grandparents who are doing extraordinary jobs raising their children. I am not condemning an entire generation or suggesting that every child without a father is destined for trouble.
But I am asking a question.
What happens to a child when nobody is there to teach him how life should be lived?
Who teaches him honesty? Responsibility? Respect? Self-discipline? Faith?
If those lessons aren't being taught at home, where will he learn them?
Sometimes he finds his answers on the street.
And sometimes the person offering him friendship, protection, and a sense of belonging is the very person who will lead him toward destruction.
The Me, Me, Me Society
I believe America has developed a serious problem with selfishness.
I call it the Me, Me, Me Society.
My happiness. My freedom. My pleasure. My convenience.
But what about my responsibilities?
What about the children who didn't ask to be born and deserve someone willing to put their needs first?
Somewhere along the way, too many people seem to have confused personal freedom with freedom from responsibility.
A father doesn't stop being a father because his marriage fails. He doesn't stop being responsible because life becomes difficult. And he certainly doesn't stop being a father because something more enjoyable comes along.
Children need more than financial support.
They need guidance, discipline, affection, encouragement, and someone who keeps showing up.
And when adults walk away from those responsibilities, children are left to deal with consequences they never created.
A Cycle That Must Be Broken
Here's what troubles me most.
Many of today's young parents grew up without the very guidance we're now expecting them to provide.
How does a young man learn to become a responsible father when he has never seen responsible fatherhood demonstrated?
How does he teach his children values he was never taught?
Certainly, many overcome those disadvantages and become wonderful parents. But others struggle, and the cycle continues.
One generation grows up without guidance. Some of those children become parents who struggle to provide guidance themselves.
And another generation is left searching for a compass.
We can spend billions of dollars trying to repair the consequences of broken families, but unless we address what is happening in the lives of children, we will continue fighting the same battles.
What About God?
I am a Christian. My faith is the foundation of my life.
I believe a nation benefits when its people practice honesty, justice, mercy, personal responsibility, and love for their neighbors.
But I also believe in the separation of Church and State.
I don't believe government should force Christianity upon anyone. Faith cannot be legislated into a person's heart.
Jesus said to render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar's and unto God the things that are God's.
Government has its responsibilities, and the Church has its responsibilities.
But neither can replace the responsibility of a parent to a child.
Ephesians 6:4 tells fathers to bring up their children in the training and admonition of the Lord.
Notice that it places responsibility on fathers.
Not politicians. Not celebrities. Not social media influencers.
Fathers.
And when fathers are absent, I believe families and communities should do what they can to stand in that gap.
Five Children on an East Texas Ranch
Now let me tell you why this subject is so personal to me.
I have five fatherless great-grandchildren living here on our ranch in East Texas.
I'm 82 years old.
And I'm trying, in whatever ways I can, to be a father figure to those five children.
I won't pretend it's easy.
At my age, I don't have the strength or energy I had forty years ago. There are things I wish I could do with them that I simply can't do anymore.
I can't solve every problem. I can't be everywhere. And I certainly don't have all the answers.
But I can still teach them what I know.
I can teach them that a man's word should mean something.
That honesty matters even when nobody is watching.
That work isn't something to be ashamed of.
That you don't walk away from your responsibilities simply because life gets difficult.
That faith isn't just something you talk about on Sunday. It's something you try to live every day.
And that loving somebody sometimes means putting their needs ahead of your own.
I hope I can be around long enough for those lessons to take root.
I hope I can do it long enough that they understand how life is lived.
You Can't Teach What You Won't Practice
I've spent much of my life preaching the Gospel, but I've learned that children often pay more attention to what adults do than to what they say.
You can tell a child a hundred times to be honest, but if he watches you lie, what lesson have you really taught him?
You can preach responsibility, but if you abandon your obligations, what message have you delivered?
You can tell children to love their neighbors, but if they never see you help anybody, what example have you set?
Children need examples they can follow.
And those examples don't have to be perfect people.
Lord knows I'm not perfect.
They just need to be people who are willing to admit their mistakes, do what's right, and keep trying.
America Isn't Beyond Hope
I love this country.
I believe America has accomplished tremendous good, including helping spread the Gospel throughout the world.
I also recognize that America has made terrible mistakes.
I'm a conservative, and I support President Trump, but I don't believe in blindly following any politician or political movement.
My convictions don't belong to a political party.
They belong to me, and they are grounded in my faith.
But I don't believe the answer to every problem facing America will be found in another election.
Some problems must be addressed much closer to home.
We need fathers who take responsibility.
We need mothers and grandparents who receive the support they deserve.
We need churches and communities willing to help struggling families.
And we need adults who understand that the next generation is watching.
The Lesson I've Learned at 82
At 82 years old, I know I can't change the entire world.
I can't repair every broken family, rescue every child from the streets, or convince every absent father to come home.
But I can do something.
I can try to make a difference in the lives of five children who live right here on this ranch.
I can show them what I believe a responsible man should be.
I can teach them about God, about honesty, about work, and about treating others with dignity.
And perhaps, someday, when they're grown and facing difficult decisions of their own, they'll remember something their great-grandfather said or did.
Maybe they'll pass those lessons along to their own children.
And maybe that's how the cycle begins to break.
Not through some grand political movement.
Not through another government program alone.
But through ordinary people who decide that the next generation is worth their time, their effort, and their love.
A child cannot choose the circumstances into which he is born. But the adults around him can choose whether to help him find his way.
That's my lesson after 82 years.
And if I can leave those five children with a moral compass that helps guide them long after I'm gone, I will consider that one of the greatest accomplishments of my life.
— Mike Cunningham
mikesobservations.com
